The other day I found myself watching TV and a kid was wearing children’s pyjamas covered in smiling dinosaurs 🦖.

And it got me thinking.

Why do we do this?

A pirate 🏴‍☠️ was, historically speaking, a violent criminal who robbed people at sea and occasionally murdered them ☠️.

A dinosaur 🦖 was a giant prehistoric reptile, some of which could bite through your entire torso without much effort.

Yet somehow we’ve collectively decided that both belong on baby grows. 👶

Not only that, but they need big googly eyes and little rosy cheeks. 👀😊

Why?

At some point in human history, someone looked at a Tyrannosaurus rex 🦖 and thought, “You know what this needs? A smile.”

The same thing has happened to almost everything that should logically be terrifying.

Sharks 🦈
Dragons 🐉
Wolves 🐺
Monsters 👹
Ghosts 👻

Give us long enough and we’ll turn it into a cuddly toy.

I think children are drawn to things that are big, powerful and slightly dangerous. Dinosaurs are fascinating because they’re enormous. Pirates are exciting because they don’t follow the rules. Dragons can breathe fire. Sharks have rows of teeth.

Kids aren’t interested because they’re cute.

They’re interested because they’re cool.

It’s the adults who come along afterwards and decide that the terrifying apex predator should be wearing a party hat.

Maybe it’s our way of helping children process scary things. A friendly dinosaur introduces the idea of a dangerous creature without the nightmare fuel.

Or maybe humans just have an uncontrollable urge to domesticate absolutely everything.

We’ve spent thousands of years turning wolves into dogs.

Perhaps turning dinosaurs into cheerful mascots was simply the next logical step. 🤔

Nothing is safe from us.

Not even pirates.

A pirate starts off as a dangerous outlaw who spends his life stealing treasure and threatening merchant ships.

By the time we’re finished with him, he’s called Captain Snugglebeard and he’s helping children learn colours.

“Ahoy, matey! Can you spot the blue treasure chest?”

No, but I can spot several historical inaccuracies.

Then again, we do this with adults too.

Look at how many people own cute little ghost decorations. A ghost 👻 is literally supposed to be the spirit of a dead person haunting your house. 🧟

We’ve somehow transformed that into a smiling white blob holding a pumpkin latte.

Humans are weird.

But maybe that’s one of our better qualities.

The world contains plenty of genuinely frightening things. Maybe there’s something comforting about taking the edge off them. About looking at a giant predator, a bloodthirsty pirate or a mythical monster and deciding that actually, it would look better with a friendly smile and a tiny hat.

It’s a strange form of optimism.

A refusal to let scary things stay scary.

Although I do draw the line somewhere.

If I ever see a cheerful cartoon tax return teaching children their ABCs, I’m out. 💀📋😂